Here’s a cherry-picked list of links to EU rebuttals of some of the headlines that appear in the media about alleged EU excesses and allegations of misguided regulation and intervention.  What’s pleasing about it is the lightness of touch in most of the rebuttal and the hefty use of tabloid-style punning.

A

AcresAcres are outlawed by Brussels, Jul 2008

AcornsEU to prevent the sale of English oak seeds, Nov 1994

Africa, Circus artists EU funding for African acrobats and trapeze artists, July 2015


B

Baby rattlesEC to ban noisy toys, Jan 1996

BagpipesEU safety directives to ban playgrounds, trapeze artists and bagpipes, Aug 2005

Bagpipes, noise levelsBagpipes to be quietened by an edict from Brussels, Apr 2008

Barrister’s wigsTraditional barrister’s wig to be scrapped, Apr 2002

Bombay mixBombay mix to be renamed Mumbai mix, Jul 2006

BonesButchers cannot give a dog a bone, May 2004


C

Cannons21-gun salutes to be muffled, Mar 2006

Car boot salesBrussels threatens charity shops and car boot sales, Oct 2000

Cheese, BritishBritish cheese face extinction, May 1999

Cheese, serving temperatureEC moves to ban Ploughman’s sandwiches with new cheese temperature regulations,  Jun 1993

Church, bellsVillage church bells silenced by EU, Oct 2002

CircusesCircus performers required to wear hard hats, Jul 2003

CodCod no longer to be called cod thanks to EU, Sep 2001

CorpsesEU plans to liquify corpses and pour them down the drain, July 2010

Cows, nappiesEU is forcing cows to wear nappies, Oct 2014

Crisps, prawn cocktailEC to ban prawn cocktail crisps, Jan 1993

Crisps, smoky baconSmoky bacon crisps to be banned, May 2003


D

Darts, to be banned in pubsCommission plans to outlaws darts in pubs, Jun 1993

Dogs, breedingQueen’s corgis to be outlawed, Apr 2002

Double-decker busesDouble-decker buses to be banned, Apr 1998


E

EggsNew eggs cannot be called eggs, Aug 2000

Eggs, sold by the dozen – EU plans to ban the sale of eggs by the dozen, Jun 2010


F

Farming, organic, homeopathyOrganic farmers ordered by EU to use homeopathic medicine, Apr 2015

Farms, toysFarmers forced to issue pigs with toys, Jan 2003

Firemen, fireman’s poleFireman’s pole to be axed by European law, Jun 2002

Fishermen, hairnetsCommission to force fishermen to wear hair-nets, Oct 1992

Football matches, noiseNoise regulations to require club, pub and football goers to wear earplugs, Mar 2002


G

Game birds, wild game meatHunters to be required to carry a fridge and be accompanied by a vet, Jan 1993


H

Hard hatsCircus performers must wear hard hats, Jul 2003

HGV training rulesChristmas deliveries put at risk by EU, Dec 2014

Home working, fire doors requiredSelf-employed home-workers must equip their houses with fire doors, Jun 1993


I

Island, definition ofBureaucrats declare Britain is “not an island”, Jan 2003


J

Justice, wigsTraditional barristers wig to be scrapped, Apr 2002


K

Kent, county of – Kent now part of France, Sep 2006

KiltsKilts to be classified as women’s wear, Nov 2003


L

LawnmowersBrussels targeting lawnmowers, Sep 2014

Lollipop ladiesEU to ban lollipop ladies’ sticks, Jul 1999


M

Maps, UKEU redraws map of the UK, Apr 1999

MapsBureaucrats declare Britain is “not an island”,  Jan 2003

Maps, LondonTrafalgar Square and Waterloo station to be renamed, Oct 2003

Metrication, acresAcres are outlawed by Brussels, Jul 2008

Milk, yoghurtEU plans to rename yogurt, Nov 2003

Mince piesEU to rename mince pies, Oct 2002

Mother Christmas outfitsPolitically correct Eurocrats say Santa must be a woman, Oct 2001

Mushy peasCommission to outlaw mushy peas, Aug 1995


N

Noise pollution, bagpipes – EU safety directives to ban playgrounds, trapeze artists and bagpipes,  Aug 2005

Noise pollution, bagpipesBagpipes to be quietened by an edict from Brussels, Apr 2008

Noise pollution, Cannons21-gun salutes to be muffled, Mar 2006

Noise pollution, church bellsVillage church bells silenced by EU, Oct 2002


O

Oak treesEU to prevent the sale of English oak seeds, Nov 1994

Organic farming, homeopathy Organic farmers ordered by EU to use homeopathic medicine, Apr 2015

Off-licensesEU to ban British off-licenses, Feb 2005


P

Paddling poolsPaddling pools deeper than 12 inches must have full-time lifeguard, Jan 1993

PassportsEuropean passport will replace national passports, Oct 2000

PassportsHer Majesty to be removed from UK passports, Sep 2007

PastaFresh pasta banned, Apr 2002

Pets, deadDead pets must be pressure cooked before burial, Mar 2000

Pigs, toys Farmers forced to issue pigs with toys, Jan 2003

Pizza, sizesEU to regulate pizza sizes, Oct 1994

Place namesEU to rename UK place names, Oct 2003


Q

Queen, teaQueen to be forced to get her own tea, Feb 1999


R

Remembrance Day, poppiesRemembrance Day poppies to face VAT charge, Aug 2003

Rocking horsesEU to ban rocking horses, Nov 2003


S

Safety at work, hairdressers,EU bans high heels for salon staff, Apr 2012

Shellfish, musselsShellfish must be given rest breaks whilst on journeys, Jan 1996

StrawberriesStrawberries must be oval, Mar 1998

Suntan, CommissionerEU to get a “Suntan Commissioner”, Jun 2005


T

Tea, teabagsEU to make recycling teabags illegal, Jan 2005

TeethNow Brussels make bright smiles illegal, Feb 2003

TurkeysEC to tamper with turkeys , Dec 1992

TVsBanning plasma TVs, Jan 2009


V

Valentine’s Day cardsUnwanted Valentine’s cards to be defined as sexual harassment, Apr 1995

VotingEU may force UK to give criminals vote, Feb 2006


W

Waste, food waste for swans, charities etc.Feeding swans and homeless people to require licence, Feb 1994

Working conditionsEU meddlers ban kids on milk rounds, Aug 1998


Y

YoghurtEU plans to rename yogurt, Nov 2003

Z

ZipsEU plans to ban zipper trousers, May 1999

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