Houston PR: Instructions for use

  1. Once purchased and unpacked, for a quick start, just plug Houston in and turn it on. Read directions at your leisure, but no need really.
  2. No batteries required.
  3. Houston PR is fully compatible with everything else you have.  It works seamlessly with your advertising, direct marketing, HR, internal communications, finance, etc.  Plug and play.
  4. Breathing Houston PR extracts is harmless and will result in feelings of increased energy and euphoria.  People you are interested in will suddenly show obsessive interest in you.  Unexpected and amazing things will happen.
  5. Houston PR can be used in all weather conditions and works internationally and around the clock without adapters.
  6. Houston PR content works on all devices: newspapers, TV, websites, wires, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, tongues, ears, etc.
  7. If you are in any doubt as to whether it is working properly, Houston will automatically try alternative wiring combinations that will fix the problem.
  8. No extra parts required.  All accessories included.
  9. We guarantee to be free of defects in workmanship and annoying mannerisms.
  10. No sleep function.  Sorry.
  11. Impossible to replace with a product of equivalent value.
  12. Perfect for Christmas, 2015 and beyond.
  13. Helplines staffed by experts around the clock. No waiting times, no on hold music.
  14. If you are feeling lost or ignored, simply email 54321@houstonpr.co.uk or call 07702 684290 and we’ll arrange everything.

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