Steven appreciates that whilst it is Christmas, it is really important that he focuses on intensive fact-finding for his Year 7 essay on morality and the geopolitical consequences of video game violence.
Emily is on top of her Christmas thank you letters thanks to the well-intended advice from her parents last Christmas and the Christmas before.
Chloe is really looking forward to popping downstairs to play board games with her parents after they have eaten a lot of food and have had a lot to drink and are sitting on comfortable sofas in a very warm room.
Imogen is disappointed that her self-diagnosed Osgood-Schlatter’s syndrome will prevent her from participating in the family Boxing Day walk this year.
Stanley is mortified that he seems to have developed a painful eczema-like allergy to washing up liquid, latex gloves and damp linen.
Edith is glad to have completed her New Year’s resolutions for 2016 already and hopes that her parents will respect her desire to be self-motivated in the achievement of her goals and excuse her from the annual New Year’s Eve Resolutions Workshop.
Ian is hoping that, having proactively selected the healthy living options on the school canteen menu during December, he will be let off Brussel sprouts on Christmas day.
Thomas is undertaking a comprehensive audit of the contents of his room this Christmas and hopes that his parents will understand that what might look like mess to the untrained eye is actually part of a well-thought-through approach to bedroom tidiness.
(Inspired by McSweeney’s)